


The Darkness Gives Me Warmth

by Nakura_Orihara



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oh jason forever the angel, Panic Attacks, Percy learns how to deal with things, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:33:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakura_Orihara/pseuds/Nakura_Orihara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just supposed to be a surprise party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkness Gives Me Warmth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brom_Saurth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brom_Saurth/gifts).



> So... I know I really shouldn't be writing another fic when I haven't even finished the first one, but this is a present for a really good friend, so that takes more of a priority. Don't worry! I am not abandoning Your Love, My Pain! It's getting there, I promise. Anyway, I hope you like this. The other title was Joyce vs. The Great Forces of Evil, but I decided to go with The Darkness Gives Me Warmth.

Percy was breathing heavily, dark spots were dancing behind his eyes as he began shaking. He couldn't believe this was happening, at his own birthday party no less. Percy tried to breathe in and out, just like Apollo had told him to do whenever this happened. But he couldn't, all that came out was a choked sob. Percy hadn't even realized that he was crying, hot tears were streaming down his face as he thought of how big of a disappointment he was. Look at him, the "great hero of olympus" in all his glory, crying on the bathroom floor on his birthday, because of a fucking panic attack from a surprise party.

He laughed mirthlessly at his own weakness. He was pathetic! Worthless! How could anyone call him a hero? All of the people he let die. All of the things he's done. All of the people he's failed, how could anyone see him as anything other than a... monster? Harsh sobs raked through Percy's body. Even as he held his legs close, he could feel a bitter coldness grow inside of him. It felt like a giant lead ball slowly crushing his heart, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. This wasn't the first time this had happened and with Percy's luck it won't be the last. It was getting harder for him to believe the words of encouragement everyone kept telling him, because despite what they all thought, he wasn't stupid. He could see the look of pity in their eyes and knew what they were all thinking, "Oh, he's so broken! I wish I could help him!" But they couldn't, because they could never go through the same things he did. 

A quiet knock interrupted his thoughts.  
"Hey Percy?"

Percy smiled, of course Jason would be the one to come talk to him. Oh Jason, a true hero, so much more than he ever was or ever could be. In Percy's eyes, Jason was perfect. He never hurt anyone for the wrong reasons or manipulated someone to get what he wanted. It was Jason who deserved all of the praise, not him, not a monster.


End file.
